This week, while other people were flying off their houses and drowning in this massive hurricane, I sat inside, quietly typing away on my laptop, the faint *clickclickclick* barely audible over the roar of the winds. I was having a chinwag with my pals Prashant ( DJ P-Rash), and Garrett, (no cutesy nickname, sorry everybody). It was oh, say, 4 in the afternoon on...errr...well, that's not important. Anyway, Prashant suggested that we engage in some good ole anime watching, the anime in question being one of my favorites, Naruto. Well, I got myself a big bowl of popcorn while Prashant got himself dinner or something, (he has a strange eating habit: ask him about it sometime). So the show starts after much confusion on me and Prashant's behalf, as the ads were different lengths and Prashant forgot what time we were going to start at, etc. To anyone who hasn't seen the show, there are spoilers ahead, and it may get a bit dry, I know how hard it is to keep up with all the strange Japanese names. Well, Naruto, Sakura, Yamato, and Sai arrived at the bridge, to meet with an informant of a Puppet Master they had just killed, who's name was Sasori, so they might find out where their friend Sasuke was. They were instead faced by the main bad guy of the series, named Orochimaru, and his servant, Kabuto. At this point my supple of delicious buttery kernels had run out, so I went into the kitchen to deposit the bowl. When I returned, Naruto's skin was peeling away and the Nine-Tails chakra was, well, oozing out of him. Very confused, I re-winded whilst Prashant cursed me and my love of buttery foodstuffs. Eventually, I got to where I was and watched Naruto totally going nuts, causing his skin to melt off and for him to become unimaginably powerful. (cool show, huh?) By now I was thirsty, all that delicious popped corn turning my mouth to a barren wasteland. As the second episode rolled, I sprinted away to get my drink. One cool glass of lemonade later, I came back to see it had started. Prashant was, I'm guessing, ripping his hair in anguish as I moseyed on back to our side conversation. The second episode involved a very long sword shooting out of Orochimaru's throat and resounding smack to Sakura's face. I enjoyed it a lot, and just as it ended my power went off. In a bit of a dazed state, I went off to rage about losing power to all my chums. If you read to here, nice job, you have "reading stamina". Thanks for reading,
Charles out.
You have an interesting vivid scene in that much of it is secondhand watching, and I can't tell if you and Prashant are in the same room or watching something online. In terms of vividness, I think this would be strengthened by more concrete details (like the sound of typing with the wind outside) and fewer abstract details (like Prashant's eating or the plot of the anime shows).
ReplyDeleteIn your reading post, you say you like how "the words fit snuggly together" - say more. It's a nice observation, and I'd love an example. And remember reading details.
I like the fact that you like anime. I think this page clearly shows that you like anime. Like, it's really obvious. I like anime, but Naruto? Come on man. Anyhow, you are very descriptive in a over reactive kind of way which shows your creative side with terms like "rippin' out his hair" and other exaggeration related moments. It's not at all a bland story. It's almost immaculate in level of wonderfulness in fact. I reward you with a token of my appreciation of having the privilege of reading your short story. You may now give yourself a pat on the back because this cool guy right here enjoyed your story. Thank you.
ReplyDelete